Would like the Miracle? Change Your own Belief.
Losing is painful. It doesn’t matter what – work, an advertising, your quality of life, a partner, a spouse – it’s painful. Sure, the pain is greater, the higher losing, but whenever we lose something, we feel it deeply.
A pal of mine, a trial lawyer by trade, recently lost a big case. He’s not in the habit of losing trials, for him this was a most unusual experience. But what intrigued me was his attitude about this: “I can see where I made some mistakes. I am aware it’s hindsight and all that, but I seriously misjudged how a jurors would look at certain facts. I can’t watch for my next trial – I possess some applying for grants what I possibly could did differently, and I wish to see how they’ll play out.”
His is an optimist’s attitude. A miracle-making attitude. The one that practically guarantees success. Oh, maybe don’t assume all time, but more frequently than not acim mp3. It’s well established that optimists succeed beyond their actual aptitude and talents – all because of their attitude.
Many lawyers, in his position, might have expended their efforts laying blame somewhere: on opposing counsel for underhanded tricks, on the Judge to be biased toward the other side, on the jurors for “not getting hired,” on their trial team to be inefficient, or on themselves. My friend, however, simply assessed his work, identified the thing that was missing, and was rarin’ to be on the following trial – so he could yet again, win.
All it took was a shift in perception, what Marianne Williamson* defines as “a miracle.” Or, to my means of thinking, a shift in perception (how you begin to see the loss) lays the groundwork for a miracle, for something to occur which is a lot better than the thing that was expected. By moving off the blame-game, and choosing instead to learn from the knowledge (the shift in perception), my friend put himself back on the success track.
Whenever you look at your loss, whatever it’s, as permanent and all-encompassing, then sure enough, you’ll feel devastated and unable to release and move on. If, on the contrary, you appear at your loss – be it the increasing loss of work, a spouse, a customer, your savings – as temporary, something to learn from – then chances are excellent that you will have a way to move onto better still things; to a “miracle.”
The sole change is in the way you perceive the event, the loss. And that, unlike losing itself, is wholly within your control. Buck against it though we may, we could always control what we think. No, it’s certainly not easy. I find it will take considerable effort to move my thoughts off the comfort of wound-licking and self-pity to thoughts that may generate a much better future. But it’s doable.